Oh man, how on earth does this thing work?

Hey hey ladys and lads visiting my page! I don't mean to alarm you but I am a bit of a technical meatsack, hence my ugly colour choice and most likely confusing layout. I apologise but have no real intention of improving. Sorry.

If you were still under the impression that this page was an insight into the life and times of my travels in Chile, that I have to sadly dash your dreams of a hilarious tale of my incompetence- I'm back in NZ baby! However, seeing as I've had such a great response to my blog and since my theripist thinks it's a good way for me to share my thoughts (joke), I am going to continue this blog, most likely in a random fashion, with tales of day to day hilarious misunderstandings, annoyances, and general thoughts from out of the blue.

Enjoy, or don't, its your call.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Tunnels, Mui Ne

I cant think of a witty statement for the start of this blog....oh dear. It's too hot, but also I really need to fart, andim tossing up whether I can get away with doing it while like 3 other people in the hostel room...

So on Tuesday liz and I headed out to the cu chi tunnels- if you haven't bothered to research these like I told you to in he last blog, shame on you! More unnecessary typing for my poor fingers. 

The cu chi tunnels were built by the viet cong during the "American war". Using nothing but a brush and shovel (apparently) they whipped up some nifty tunnels- say abut 80cm wide and 1.2m high. These tunnels snaked for kms all over they place- they even had underground toilets, meeting rooms and dorms. It's basically district 13 from the hunger games. 

When they weren't crouching in tunnels, waiting to shoot Americans in the knee through a hollowed out tree trunk (true story), they were making even more unpleasant traps to capture the americanos. My fav was a ginormous revolving lid that was sneakily covered in grass and leaves. Stand on it (or rather, poke it with a stick like our guide did "thes' time la'ies firs'. Hahahaha" ) and it would swing around, leaving u to be walloped on he head and pushed forcefully down into a pit of artfully sharpened bamboo spikes.

We finished up the tour by walking through a tunnel for 40m. It probably would have been a spacious hallway for the everyday viet cong guerilla, but I felt like Alice when she eats too much magic mushroom and gets much too large for the house in wonderland. I had a mild freak out at one stage "omg liz, there's noone behind us, were lost, it's just like in the movie!!! It's so hot, ahhhhhhh I can't breathe!!" about 10 seconds of loud, panicked breathing ensued, until a bewildered looking French man turned the corner and looked at my sweaty mug in concern. Luckily, I was metres away from an exit and apparently has gotten everyone unnecessarily panicked. My defence was that we are all responsible for our own actions, it's nt like I actively invited them to get panicked with me "hi, I'm feeling incredibly  claustrophobic and am having a sensation of impending doom, fancy flapping your hands and and breathing heavily in distress for a few seconds?" luckily for me it was the end of the tour. 

That night we met up with some kiwi boys we had met day before and went out on the town- with a sufficient level of drink and food in me, 7 hours after we had started, I don't think I'd spent more than $30 nz dollars. Brill night, but did not make for a fun bus ride the next morning. 

After a death defying bus ride to Mui Ne, liz and I settled into our backpackers, and have taken to lounging on deck chairs and doing copious amounts of reading. They sell what I can only describe as "pirated" books here, so naturally I'm in heaven. 

Anyway, I'm sweating like a pig at Christmas (not sure if that's a genuine saying, but I'm gunna claim it). Might go for a swim! 

Miss everyone at home, hoping everyone is enjoying the time up to christmas. 

Off to Cambodia tomorrow. 

Xx ains and liz. 


Monday, December 17, 2012

Vietnam; an unexpected journey that I had been expecting for the last 6 months.

Chao!! The blog is finally international again, this time, touching down in the old nam of viet. 

Liz and I have been here officially (with our dreamy multi entry  visas- its like having a multi pass to rainbows end, and its just as terrifying as the fearfall) for 10 hours now. I will give you a brief outline of experiences. 

10am- got a taxi, tried to bargain him down but failed splendidly. I had trouble trying to get money from my travellers belt which was under my dress, while at the same time not giving the taxi driver more than he (literally) bargained for. No chance of seeing this golden lotus, pal. 

10.03- enjoying the taxi mans music, a mixture of k-pop, Indian meditation, and the occasional christmas song for good measure.

10.5am sing to "Mary's boy child" by boney m. 

11am -complain loudly of the heat to anyone who will listen; "How hot is this country???" and "am going to die of heat, feel really quite faint!!!" No one pays attention. 

12.30- go for some lunch at tiny lunch bar. We are the only customers. Old man outside shop points at liz, looks something up on his smart phone and shows his buddy, who also points at LIz. Can only deduce she is a ringer for some Vietnamese movie star.

1.00pm- waiting for lunch

1.10pm- continue waiting

1.15- lunch arrives!! A bit disappointing, but lots of points for having a friendly chef! 

3.00pm- go for manicure- I get cupcakes on my toenails!! Mani pedi full sheebang- nz $15

6pm- brave the streets to go and look at market. Many many many mopeds, buses and cars. No traffic lights. Do at lot of praying.

6.05pm- alive! And on other side of the road. 

7pm- join in an aerobics class in the local park. So fun, tho I'm sure im  getting laughed at by the locals. My Zumba moves too advanced for them, obviously.

7.40- liz feeling ill, so back to hotel for her to sleep and me to blog. 

8.30pm- loud music outside in the street. Don't they know it's bed time? Just like brocas ave.

Tomorrow we are off to cu chi tunnels- google them, they are so insane. As insane as the people in the country in which they are found.