Things I live in fear of
-Being on the toilet or in the shower when a natural disaster hits. A moment where I would literally be caught with my pants down.
-Turning right at busy intersections; I will often take long and elaborate left turn routes just to avoid the tension of a 5 car build up.
-Calling people on the telephone to ask questions that they are qualified to answer. Sometimes I write a script on the phone pad in case they ask me a question that throws me off “himynameisainsley,justwonderingifyoucouldgivemeaquoteonfixingmycar...what kind of car is it?? Uhhh, it’s grey...” I still get the shake ‘n’ sweats.
-Answering the front door when I can’t see who’s there. It’s less of a fear and more of a intolerance to peddlers/pesky neighbours/awkward meter measurer people (I once thought those guys were robbers and I was frozen solid for about 3 mins till my Mum explained why they were round the back of our house. Come to think of it, it would be unusual for robbers to be wearing fluorescent orange vests. Or incredibly cunning).
-Cafe’s not serving date scones
-Cafe’s not serving diet coke
-Cafe’s being closed
-Talking to people about how their day was (please let it have been ‘fine’, I don’t know how long I can fake listen).
-Talking to people that find the Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men funny (To be fair I haven’t really watched those shows, but I know I wouldn’t like them, just like I know I wouldn’t like skydiving. It’s INTUATIVE.
-Someone taking me on a ‘mystery’ date, putting me in a plane, attaching me to a stranger (grraass), and throwing me out the door; “Surprise, I got us a skydiving package!!!!”
-Basically anything adrenaline related. I’m going on a Kodak Moment family holiday this weekend to none other than Rotorua, action capital of the North Island. Stay tuned for fear/fun filled tales of hysteria.
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