Oh man, how on earth does this thing work?

Hey hey ladys and lads visiting my page! I don't mean to alarm you but I am a bit of a technical meatsack, hence my ugly colour choice and most likely confusing layout. I apologise but have no real intention of improving. Sorry.

If you were still under the impression that this page was an insight into the life and times of my travels in Chile, that I have to sadly dash your dreams of a hilarious tale of my incompetence- I'm back in NZ baby! However, seeing as I've had such a great response to my blog and since my theripist thinks it's a good way for me to share my thoughts (joke), I am going to continue this blog, most likely in a random fashion, with tales of day to day hilarious misunderstandings, annoyances, and general thoughts from out of the blue.

Enjoy, or don't, its your call.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Things I live in fear of: A comprehensive guide

Things I live in fear of

-Being on the toilet or in the shower when a natural disaster hits. A moment where I would literally be caught with my pants down.

-Turning right at busy intersections; I will often take long and elaborate left turn routes just to avoid the tension of a 5 car build up.

-Calling people on the telephone to ask questions that they are qualified to answer. Sometimes I write a script on the phone pad in case they ask me a question that throws me off “himynameisainsley,justwonderingifyoucouldgivemeaquoteonfixingmycar...what kind of car is it?? Uhhh, it’s grey...” I still get the shake ‘n’ sweats.

-Answering the front door when I can’t see who’s there. It’s less of a fear and more of a intolerance to peddlers/pesky neighbours/awkward meter measurer people (I once thought those guys were robbers and I was frozen solid for about 3 mins till my Mum explained why they were round the back of our house. Come to think of it, it would be unusual for robbers to be wearing fluorescent orange vests. Or incredibly cunning).

-Cafe’s not serving date scones

-Cafe’s not serving diet coke

-Cafe’s being closed

-Talking to people about how their day was (please let it have been ‘fine’, I don’t know how long I can fake listen).

-Talking to people that find the Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men funny (To be fair I haven’t really watched those shows, but I know I wouldn’t like them, just like I know I wouldn’t like skydiving. It’s INTUATIVE.

-Someone taking me on a ‘mystery’ date, putting me in a plane, attaching me to a stranger (grraass), and throwing me out the door; “Surprise, I got us a skydiving package!!!!”

-Basically anything adrenaline related. I’m going on a Kodak Moment family holiday this weekend to none other than Rotorua, action capital of the North Island. Stay tuned for fear/fun filled tales of hysteria.

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